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They cannot stop him - they can only hope to slow him down!

17 April 1980
External Services:
  • darkcryst@livejournal.com

"Godamn I must know more about this fine specimen of manhood!"

Well gee thanks... I'm 25, English, and tall.
I do graphical type stuff on computers. In my spare time I do sweet fuck all.
I live and work in the smallest room in my house (and its not the toilet).
My spelling IS better than my typing would indicate and I probably spend too much time on the internet and computers.
But hey.. the people here are cool (and some of them are cute and sexy too) so it works out.

I'm er.. me... read my journal to get a hint :)

"But I want to shower you with gifts and give you money! How can I do this??"

Well thanks! Funny you should say that - I have two Amazon wish lists (they have different stock) so if you want to buy me things.. go there.
The Amazon US or
The Amazon UK

"How do I know you aren't some kind of evil creature??? DEMON!! DEEEEMOOON!!"

Calm down you hysterical person you.
While I offer no guarentees I'm pretty sure I'm not a demon/evil being with supernatural powers. Though I'll let you know if this changes.

Still not sure? Ok.. here are some things that other people have said about me:

cmpriest -
"Greg is one bad-assed mofo--a quick-thinking, fast-talking fiend with entirely too much water sloshing back and forth between him and the bulk of his LJ buddies here on this side of the pond. Bow! Bow and scrape before the mad skillz of Greg, who designs on demand and rides a stone pony like a granite master! This is a man with a butt like a biscuit--it ought to be buttered and jammed!"

miriammiriam -
"Greg is a gorgeously handsome, loving, caring individual who is the perfect hybrid of a sweet freak and a hot geek. He's got the dry british wit thing down and it's the way he swings his lightsaber and spells "realise" with that "s" that drives me wild and makes me want to watch red dwarf and play old school adventure games with him all night long, because "s" stands for sexy, baby! He's incredibly fun all around and i love him for being the beautiful person
that he is. He makes me happier than i've ever been and i feel lucky to be with him every day. So much so that i refuse to let any ocean come between us."

missy_poo -
"Greg gets his ass kicked by ME in Tekken:)
He is a beastly dude that kinda reminds me of Brenden Frasier for some reason. He curses a lot....all that British jibberish"

fullofwhispers -
"Greg. He's by far one of the most amazing individuals I have ever met. He brightens my darkest days and is a umbrella of protection when I feel like hiding from the rain. He'll always listen to me ramble about anything and everything... and will give me a *hug* when he knows I need it. He's opinionated and blunt... but also gentle and loves unconditional. When I think of him, I smile, giggle and remember nothing but good times. (Fluffy poke stick of doom? *snugglecuddlehugglepounce*?) I know I will always find shelter in him. I'm forever changed because of who he is. <3"

icyblue -
"darkcryst is hot!!

Oh, and also smart and funny and witty, too."

shineyquarter -
"No matter what Greg will always be my friend. He accepts my craziness no matter what and loves me just the same. I appreciate his humor (the man is a clone of Eddie Izzard except not in drag) and I find his talent in writing, design, and all that code crap simply amazing."

Still not convinced? You sure?
ok.. well try the following epic tale from the hand of...
rinnywee -

"GREG'S MILORD WHITY!" the girl exclaimed. "No, truly I tell ye, sir. I saw 'im just the other day tearing out o' town WITH EDGY GILS. MR OR you were there. You saw. Tell 'im!"

Constable Dawdry glanced at the old man. MR OR WIGGLED. "HI' ST'Y's tr'e," he spattered. "I beg your pardon?" Dawdry peered at the old man, "Are you drunk, man?" Or straightened himself and looked Dawdry right in the face, "WHO ME? DR GRISLY GIT says I wa'n't allowed to drink. I was just finishing my mince pie when yon lass asked me to tell. Well, I told. "Her story is true" is said. 'snot my fault I had half a tart in my gob, if you'll excuse the expression, Sir."

Dawdry wrinkled his nose and glanced at the girl again. "How can you be sure that this Greg is who you say?"

"Well sir, I first dids 'ear 'bout it after Mafyew there heard some of the other men talking about 'ow they did read it in THE GRISWOLD GRIMY." She nodded towards a small lad, of around ten, huddled in the corner of the kitchen. I di'n't b'lieve it at first, as you wouldn't sir. But then I did hear like how THE LORD GRIMY SWIG, you know, the one 'ho did go and win THE DOGGY SWIRL RIM where it should 'ave been my master, Sir. Well, 'e said as 'ow HOT RIMS DE-WRIGGLY did come by an' take yon Greg away. This i'n't true of course, but it was strange 'ow he did go on d'clarin' as 'ow Greg was WHITY RODGERS GLIM 'imself. Well I don't b'lieve a word of it, Sir. Still, 'tis strange 'ow GREG HID SLIMYWORT for so long an' got 'way wif it."

"Slimy Wort?"

"Yeah, you know Sir. DR HEGIG SLIMYWORT of MILDEW GOGHRSITRY Manor down in Wales. 'e was suspected of murderin' 'is wife 'e was an' 'parently Greg 'id 'im from the orforoties."

"The orf... what?"

"You know! The p'lice, men like you."

"Oh, the authorities."

"Riiiiight. Anyway, Edgy Gils come by the 'ouse the other day looking for Greg. All 'urried like. Ten minutes later they're gone, both of 'em."

Dawdry tapped his finger against his chin. "And you have no idea where they were headed?"

"Well, I did 'ear Edgy mention something 'bout THE GRODY MIG SWIRL, that's an inn over in RIGTRY MIDGE. HOWLS might know more, do ye want me ask him, Sir?" The girl turned to go.

"No no, that's fine. You've been most helpful. I'm afraid I shall have to continue the search for MR GREG DOWISHYTIL myself."

"Dowishytil, Sir?"

"Yes, sorry about that. I sneezed. Thank you for your help." Dawdry nodded his head and walked out of the house.

NB: All words in capitals and bold are anagrams of Gregory Wild Smith