From the annals of Internet Rant-dom:
A 48 year old guy decides he doesn’t want his testicles anymore. By the way, how does one come to the realization that one simply doesn’t need his testicles? It’s not a decision to take lightly, I’ll tell you that much. Furthermore, even if his balls weren’t doing anything for him, why not just leave them alone? Are they hurting anybody? NO! They’re just minding their own business, swinging around, having a good time. One morning this guy is looking at himself naked in the mirror. “Hey, Reggie, come here! Tell me something. Be honest! Do these make me look fat?” He bats them around and watches them sway back and forth, “God, I hate them!”
Detective Lieutenant Bruce Smith is head of the case, and quite frankly, has no idea how to handle it. The police were able to track down the freak who performed the “surgery”, but was later released when police weren’t sure if they COULD arrest him. The “victim” said the nut-cracking was something that he wanted done, so it’s hard to tell if anyone did anything illegal. By the way, it’s not me who called this testicle-less guy a “victim”, it was the newspaper. Someone needs to inform the staff of writers that there’s a big difference between “victim” and “DUMB ASS”. For instance, a woman who has been date raped would be considered a victim. A man who lets his pet cougar rape him up the butt is a dumb ass. That same man’s wife would be considered a victim. The guy who video taped the man being raped by the cougar would be considered a genius. Why, you ask? Because he sold the video’s on EBay and at bestiality conferences nationwide and made a fortune.
At any rate, the so called “victim” had to endure over three hours of surgery to stop the bleeding. You just know this guy is going to do porno movies in about six months with crazy titles like, “Franken-Balls”, or “Where In The World Is Waldo’s Balls?