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I must create the taste..

Someone I hadn't spoken with in a long time asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I've known for a long time what I wanted to do, but I've been unable to articulate the emotion behind it and how important I think it is. Its never been a question of not doing it, because I will do it.. when I don't know but I will.

I've tried to capture it in small doeses, but I know that these only stave off the feeling that I'm lost. I know I'll get there, I know what I want.

I want to create, not anything, but something. I want to create something that reaches down to the core of you and shakes it. Something that pulls up your very heart and makes it pump like it never did before. Something that will hold you, show you things you've never seen before. Something that will make you feel.

A feeling that you can never lose, a feeling that changes you. You know you'll never find it again, except in the echos it lesves in your soul. When it floats around you like a ocean of energy you are invincible, and although you are with many people you are alone. Lost in the wonder, the sheer connection. The feeling. Beyond passion, beyond awe, beyond anything you felt before. This is what I'll give you all.

Because I know how to do it, and I will do it one day. When that day come you'll know because it will visit you all individually and you'll feel, see, be, someone different. I want you all to raise your hands to the sky and feel the air move, understand that you are more than you thought, and expericene the knowledge that there is something more, whatever it it, there than just the humdrum everyday existance that plagues us.

When the feeling passes you'll find it again. In a different place, but every time you find it will be different, and when you need it it will be there. Resting in you.

This will be my gift to you and I will give it, and all that will be left after is the next level. The next step. One more.

I'm not saying it right here, the feeling is in my head, not the page. I know what I want to do, and I know how I want to do it. Give me time.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
6th Sep, 2002 11:21 (UTC)
You are an AMAZING writer. *swoons*

You're amazing at everything.
6th Sep, 2002 11:33 (UTC)
awwww thanks hon *kisses you back to life*

That's just my perspective on how I feel about my life direction, nothing more.

I dunno about it being very well written.. my all too frequent spelling errors etc...
6th Sep, 2002 18:15 (UTC)
Slow on the uptake with school and self absored, I peak out from my own ether. I know you aren't here to exist for my own happiness yet I admit to finding a bit more if I knew you had AIM capabilties. Let us not debate the merits, we both know AOL (timewarner/tbs/tnt/tnn the list goes on) is inferior yet I simply refuse to go back to my ICQ days. Sooooo, do ya? Huh huh? Do ya? I wanna talk... or more precisely I want you to talk to me with your wit, intellect, and dashing personality. And if that doesn't work, I can always whine and beg. *smile*

Email me the data if you don't want to share it here. I'll add you and then shove my way into your existence....
7th Sep, 2002 03:28 (UTC)
yeah I'd like to talk to you too, unfortunatly I do concider AIM to be the spawn of a dyslexic and user-unfriendly satan. I am on MSN (or windows messenger if you have WinXP) darkcryst666@hotmail.com is my login name if you want to find me there, but the e-mail doesn't work so don't send to it.

I am on ICQ, but as you stand chained to the fires of AOL I don't know if that will help you :)
7th Sep, 2002 05:51 (UTC)
Middle ground dear Sir? Are you open to trillian?


I have tried it myself but my system explodes. Most people have no trouble with it at all.

Pretty pretty please.... ?
7th Sep, 2002 15:33 (UTC)
hehe.. I've never used it.. but since you asked so nicley... I'll give it a try.
Of cource on 56k we'll see how long it takes to download.
7th Sep, 2002 16:06 (UTC)
Great!!! I think you do have to sign up with aim just to have an account but you don't have to use it. You just set it up through trillian once you have it. If it works for ya let me know your screen name and I'll come find you! Yay!!!
7th Sep, 2002 16:27 (UTC)
it'll be DarkCryst.. give me about umm 5mins to kick trillian into working with me :)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )