September 16th, 2003

fishy wishy

We Want Your Soul...

Americans! This is a public plea for my sanity:

Please stop trying to do a 'British' accent.
You are no good at it.

If you are under the delusion that your accent is actually quite good let me just *POP* that little balloon of yours right now..

It's not, it sucks, it's a annoying goonish version of your own accent. Stop it. You are only making a fool out of yourself. I was subjected to quite a few awful accents from various people while I was in the states. Usually these were the people that were considered to be good at them as well. None of the were good, I repeat NONE OF THEM SOUNDED BRITISH.

Never mind the fact that by 'British' you mean ENGLISH, its just not a good impression. I don't claim to be able to do a good American accent, I may (possibly) be able to reproduce some of the inflections and pronunciation that many of you have, but I don't think that I can sound American. You think this conclusion would be easier to reach when you can't even produce the inflections or pronunciation.. but that doesn't stop you! You blindly try and give me your best Hugh Grant or Colin Firth impression. ARRGGHHH!!!

Most of the time I smiled or laughed politely, sometimes less politely. However there were occasions where it took me several seconds before I realised that the mauled American accent I'd just heard was supposedly an English accent. On these occasions I tried to change the subject as quick as possible before my mouth intervened with something along the lines of "What in gods name was that? Hang yourself you cretinous fool."

However annoying this trend is to travellers I must say what is worse is when it has followed me home and is on my TV. Argh...

Now I'm sure you know the cretinous examples of your society that end up on TV, god there are enough of them over there, let alone here. Now imagine if you will these same genetic rejects trying to do a 'British' accent on actual British TV, then grinning like the retarded gibbons you know them to be as if they are the funniest thing on this earth.

There is a reason there are gun controls here. This is one of them.

*coughs* Anyway...

Can you tell I've been listening to Bill Hicks a lot recently? His 'British' accent is awful too btw.

So yes, please don't take any of that personally, but its been bugging me recently and Bill has stirred up my vitriol so its back to the surface.

As the above paragraphs indicate, I am indeed alive and well. I just haven't posted much recently because LJ kind of took a back seat to RL. Still is in fact, but I was moved to post by Bill and two goonish retards on my TV.

So what's up in The Land Of DarkCryst? Not a lot, applying to jobs when I find ones that interest me, or are suitable. Kind of feeling a bit useless overall, I mean I'm 23, know more computing than people who are employed in the jobs, but I'm living in my parents house and working in retail part time.

So yeah, life is much of a muchness. At least the job is good fun and doesn't feel like work most of the time. I have a list of things to do, stuff I have been neglecting, like sending/finishing stuff off for choebe, and contacting people about some freelance web design. To name but two. Some people have said that they miss me posting, which is sweet, but I do worry when they miss this drivel. Surely the rest of their friends aren't that bad? ;)

Onward and upward as they say.
  • Current Music
    Alkaline Trio - This Could Be Love
fishy wishy

Your sweat, your screams...

I forgot to mention..

For those of you that might be interested I'm still keeping posting stuff in my digitalwaffle journal. Usually I aim to post something every week in there.

In fact my last article has actually led to the betterment of the web. Well... kind of. Pimp it to your friends, see if they might be interested. I'm trying to create a nice little resource of articles and things.

But yes, I was quite pleased with the effect that article had.. yay :)
  • Current Music
    Fatboy Slim feat. Macy Gray - Demons