August 28th, 2003

mixed up mashed up world


Ok, so... I'm rather tired right now, and its not quite 1pm.

Whats up with that?

At 2pm I start the training at The Gadget Shop in Lakeside. Yay. I am less than excited. Don't get my wrong, I'm glad of the work and hense.. money, but I still feel kind of 'uurrrrghh' about this job. Part of it is because I currently feel like I haven't slept, but most of it isn't.

I never liked retail work. Never. I don't like the falseness of it, I want to scream at shoppers "Buy something now or get the fuck out of my store!" I don't want to have to put myself on stage like that all the time - because thats essencially what you have to do. I can't stand the buzz of the customers.. is like a powerdrill in my skull.

I think its because I'm a generally quiet person. I mean sure, as anyone that has known me more than 10 minutes will tell you, I can be loud and performancy.. but its not my base state. I prefer to sit back and observe, tinker, and create.. when things get hectic I start to get that trapped animal feeling.

I'm getting it now, and perhaps that is just because I'm winding myself up before the fact. I may have a great time, but having seen the Gadget Shop - even though it looks like great fun with cool people there - its not what I want to have to spend any real time doing. I would have loved it if it was my job back in Uni though, but as its going to be my job.. I dunno, it feels different.

Meh... I need to get ready.
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