Someone I hadn't spoken with in a long time asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I've known for a long time what I wanted to do, but I've been unable to articulate the emotion behind it and how important I think it is. Its never been a question of not doing it, because I will do it.. when I don't know but I will.
I've tried to capture it in small doeses, but I know that these only stave off the feeling that I'm lost. I know I'll get there, I know what I want.
I want to create, not anything, but something. I want to create something that reaches down to the core of you and shakes it. Something that pulls up your very heart and makes it pump like it never did before. Something that will hold you, show you things you've never seen before. Something that will make you feel.
A feeling that you can never lose, a feeling that changes you. You know you'll never find it again, except in the echos it lesves in your soul. When it floats around you like a ocean of energy you are invincible, and although you are with many people you are alone. Lost in the wonder, the sheer connection. The feeling. Beyond passion, beyond awe, beyond anything you felt before. This is what I'll give you all.
Because I know how to do it, and I will do it one day. When that day come you'll know because it will visit you all individually and you'll feel, see, be, someone different. I want you all to raise your hands to the sky and feel the air move, understand that you are more than you thought, and expericene the knowledge that there is something more, whatever it it, there than just the humdrum everyday existance that plagues us.
When the feeling passes you'll find it again. In a different place, but every time you find it will be different, and when you need it it will be there. Resting in you.
This will be my gift to you and I will give it, and all that will be left after is the next level. The next step. One more.
I'm not saying it right here, the feeling is in my head, not the page. I know what I want to do, and I know how I want to do it. Give me time.