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Epiphany

"Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours, and the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."
- Tiffany Aching, via Terry Pratechett, "A Hat Full Of Sky"

You don't have to know me that well to understand why I'm posting that quote. Somehow that quote slapped me in the face with something, that even after all this time, I'm still only just understanding. I've been too busy wallowing in my own little self-constructed world of mediocre bitterness to really pay attention and effect the goddamn world.

Not any fucking more. I'm sick of this shit. I need a job, I need to getting fitter and healthier, I need to create and produce. While all of these are easier with people helping me, they are still things I have to do. Only I can really start this, and I have to start. I can't just pretend that its all the worlds fault, that its against me. Its not against me any more than anyone else.

Time to wake up, slap myself in the face, and fucking do something.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
kelvinator
7th May, 2004 08:20 (UTC)
*gets out his GO GREG pompoms*
That post was as close as it gets to music in mine ears. Rockz0r, teh Gregz0r.
darkcryst
7th May, 2004 10:41 (UTC)
The image of you and pompoms scares me Snorri ;)

But yes, I think I am very prone to saying "its X's fault" and shifting blame about everything.

Its my life, time to start living the damn thing.
balinorelle
7th May, 2004 10:17 (UTC)
that is a hard thing to realize..

and an even harder thing to actually say.

Gambatte Kudasai!!
darkcryst
7th May, 2004 10:41 (UTC)
I have no idea what those last two words mean.. but thanks! :)

Need to motivate myself, noone else is going to do it.
balinorelle
7th May, 2004 11:20 (UTC)
lol.. they mean You can do it! in Japanese. hehe
miriammiriam
7th May, 2004 11:30 (UTC)
what do you mean no one else is going to? go get a job so you can make money and come and see me! june sixth needs celebrating! ;)
theres your motivation. *smoooooooch*
mind_opened
7th May, 2004 12:56 (UTC)
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage"
Anais Nin

I kept this quote at my desk, at work for a couple years. Whenever I had doubts that I was up to a challenge I would read it and usually change my mind.
Also it was kinda fun to see who knew her and who didn't. People who knew who she was smiled and didn't ask. People who didn't, asked and accepted my reply "She's just an author I like." :-)
lousy_timing
18th May, 2004 10:46 (UTC)
Well, yes, this just sucks.
Sorry to hear about your phone. Mean people suck.

BTW- been meaning to ask you what your "official" line of work is... So, what is it? ;)

Would you come back to the states if you found work and the visa could be arranged?
darkcryst
18th May, 2004 10:59 (UTC)
responding in order...
thanks, yes, yes they do.

offical? atm, unemployed *sigh* but overall, I guess New Media/Creative IT/Web Design take your pick ;)

Yup, love to. Many more oppertunities in my area there too.
lousy_timing
18th May, 2004 11:57 (UTC)
Re: responding in order...
I'll check the Pfizer board and see what they have. Too bad you've never done sales- they're having a hard time finding people right now.

I'll keep my eyes and ears open, though!
darkcryst
18th May, 2004 14:44 (UTC)
Re: responding in order...
the where?
lousy_timing
18th May, 2004 17:13 (UTC)
Re: responding in order...
Sorry- my husband works for Pfizer and they have a board at each location, as well as an online search engine. There are more jobs in the US that look like what I think you do than there are in the UK, but see for yourself at:

Pfizer Careers

You can submit your resume online if you find any positions that are of interest to you.
darkcryst
19th May, 2004 04:44 (UTC)
Re: responding in order...
ooo thanks hon! :) will be very useful :)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )