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We Want Your Soul...

Americans! This is a public plea for my sanity:

Please stop trying to do a 'British' accent.
You are no good at it.

If you are under the delusion that your accent is actually quite good let me just *POP* that little balloon of yours right now..

It's not, it sucks, it's a annoying goonish version of your own accent. Stop it. You are only making a fool out of yourself. I was subjected to quite a few awful accents from various people while I was in the states. Usually these were the people that were considered to be good at them as well. None of the were good, I repeat NONE OF THEM SOUNDED BRITISH.

Never mind the fact that by 'British' you mean ENGLISH, its just not a good impression. I don't claim to be able to do a good American accent, I may (possibly) be able to reproduce some of the inflections and pronunciation that many of you have, but I don't think that I can sound American. You think this conclusion would be easier to reach when you can't even produce the inflections or pronunciation.. but that doesn't stop you! You blindly try and give me your best Hugh Grant or Colin Firth impression. ARRGGHHH!!!

Most of the time I smiled or laughed politely, sometimes less politely. However there were occasions where it took me several seconds before I realised that the mauled American accent I'd just heard was supposedly an English accent. On these occasions I tried to change the subject as quick as possible before my mouth intervened with something along the lines of "What in gods name was that? Hang yourself you cretinous fool."

However annoying this trend is to travellers I must say what is worse is when it has followed me home and is on my TV. Argh...

Now I'm sure you know the cretinous examples of your society that end up on TV, god there are enough of them over there, let alone here. Now imagine if you will these same genetic rejects trying to do a 'British' accent on actual British TV, then grinning like the retarded gibbons you know them to be as if they are the funniest thing on this earth.

There is a reason there are gun controls here. This is one of them.

*coughs* Anyway...

Can you tell I've been listening to Bill Hicks a lot recently? His 'British' accent is awful too btw.

So yes, please don't take any of that personally, but its been bugging me recently and Bill has stirred up my vitriol so its back to the surface.

As the above paragraphs indicate, I am indeed alive and well. I just haven't posted much recently because LJ kind of took a back seat to RL. Still is in fact, but I was moved to post by Bill and two goonish retards on my TV.

So what's up in The Land Of DarkCryst? Not a lot, applying to jobs when I find ones that interest me, or are suitable. Kind of feeling a bit useless overall, I mean I'm 23, know more computing than people who are employed in the jobs, but I'm living in my parents house and working in retail part time.

So yeah, life is much of a muchness. At least the job is good fun and doesn't feel like work most of the time. I have a list of things to do, stuff I have been neglecting, like sending/finishing stuff off for choebe, and contacting people about some freelance web design. To name but two. Some people have said that they miss me posting, which is sweet, but I do worry when they miss this drivel. Surely the rest of their friends aren't that bad? ;)

Onward and upward as they say.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
16th Sep, 2003 08:24 (UTC)
Oh trust me, anyone trying an Aussie accent is just as bad. Makes me wish I *was* Steve Irwin or Crocodile Dundee so then I could just set a multitude of wee beasties onto em. Fuckers.
17th Sep, 2003 06:01 (UTC)
ahahahaha... yeah thats true.

The only attempt at an Aussie accent I can do is a Irwinesque drawl. You've heard it.. its not that good ;)

Mind you.. those accents at least do kind of exist, even if the person doing them isn't doing it very well.
16th Sep, 2003 08:41 (UTC)
That's why I don't try.
16th Sep, 2003 15:12 (UTC)
heh.. well thats true. I think you were the only one that didn't..

Cherie and Jym both did (though admitedly both about 2 words and with the rider "its awful and I'm not doing it again").. and I think even Danny did on the short time we met!
16th Sep, 2003 16:55 (UTC)
People can't help themselves.
17th Sep, 2003 05:59 (UTC)
I know! Its kind of funny though.

I guess, like if I try a US accent over here, it sounds different enough to indicate what I'm trying to achieve to my own countrymen.
16th Sep, 2003 10:13 (UTC)
yep, I realized that accent done by non-natives were horrible when I heard Ralph Fiennes (my fav actor!) trying to do a New England one. Oh, shoot me now. I just decided to watch with subtitles with the mute on.

Now aren't you glad I refused to give you the accent when you said 'lay it on me'? Knew you really didn't want to hear that.

17th Sep, 2003 06:02 (UTC)
hehehe. By that point I was just trying to get it out of the way.

Trust me, it couldn't have been worse than some of the ones I'd been subjected to :)
16th Sep, 2003 10:27 (UTC)
Blimey! 'Ow's abowt uh stake n' kidney poie n' a point o' yer best oile?

How's that?

Heh. Being Southern, I can of course relate. I don't have a particularly strong Southern accent, but all I have to do is mention I'm from Tennessee and the "y'all"s start coming out in spades, and they're never any good. Is that supposed to make me feel more comfortable around them or something? Jesus.

What REALLY gets to me are the people from Chicago or Madison or New York, correct or not, who assert how ridiculous a Southern accent sounds. Hi pot, me kettle. Nice outfit.

My British accent is nonexistent, but I like to think that its awfulness is all part of the fun.
17th Sep, 2003 15:46 (UTC)
oh it can be fun/ny but sometimes its just sad ;)

Yeah, I think everyone says y'all there.. I did notice that. Mind you *I* say y'all sometimes.. so go figure.
16th Sep, 2003 16:19 (UTC)
i'll save you the trouble of lecturing me because i can't do accents worth anything, so i never try.
mike meyers is no good either?
i've noticed brittish actors pulling off great american accents until they get to words like "park" and then they cant say it right.
17th Sep, 2003 05:57 (UTC)
Mike Myers is canadian, not american, but anyhow.. his accent in Austin Powers is more like a spoof accent. As such it works really well.. but its not really accurate.

The only American actors I've heard do a good english accent are Liv Tyler (in Plunket And Maclaine) and Gwenyth Paltrow (Shakespeare in Love, Sliding Doors).

Rene Zellthingy's was... accurate in a plummy posh annoying way in Bridget Jones, which kind of worked, but it was a little too crisp.

Some British actors can pull of good US accents. But Ewan McGregor and Jason Stratham both can't.. god theirs are awful.
(Deleted comment)
17th Sep, 2003 11:01 (UTC)
hehehe.. yeah, I ended up saying 'yeah' like the people around me when I was in the states.

though only I could catch it prolly, as it was the inflection, not the accent I picked up.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )