?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Disclaimer

Greg is an opinionated bastard. He realizes that some people will disagree with his opinions. He calls these people "wrong".


Perhaps...

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
rinnywee
17th May, 2003 04:18 (UTC)
Yes dear, you *are* an opinionated bastard, and you *do* assume you are right and the world is wrong when they are arguing against you, and you *are* infuriating at times, but I don't think any of us would be here if we didn't also think you were a good friend.
darkcryst
17th May, 2003 05:29 (UTC)
Re:
Oh I know I do ;)

And thank you Erin, that means a lot.

I think I have picked it up as a habit.. my entire household suffers from it (though my sister is a shining example). So it becomes a form of competition.. go figure.

I know I do it though.. and I try not to. Often it comes from a desire to understand/deconstruct the other persons opinion.. which granted isn't a very sociable thing to do I guess.

Of cource sometimes its because I think the other person is brilliantly shiningly wrong.. heh.

But again... thanks :)

rinnywee
17th May, 2003 09:22 (UTC)
No problem. I don't really have any problem telling you the way I see it. Heaven knows we've done so back and forth a number of times over the past *counts* 8 years.

I understand where it comes from, and yes, Romany can be rather infuriating and I can see how arguing with her would be a pain in the behind. BUT, something I've noticed whenever the two of your are arguing is that regardless of how sensible or not her argument is, you immediately take the position of her being wrong, and belittle her in a way. I don't know if you remember, but once when I was over at yours, you and Romany were arguing about something. We were sitting in the living room and your da was in his chair. It was getting to the point where you were both telling each other to shut up and I blurted out "you can both shut up". Your dad had a wee chuckle and you both stopped. Ghehe, smackdown.

Anyway, it's all well and good to want to understand/deconstruct an opinion, but arbitrarily taking an opposing side and defending it in a way that makes you come across as obnoxious is a rather strong trait chez toi. There's been a few times where I've just stopped talking to about something because I knew I wasn't getting through to you and was wasting my time and breath.

*ponders for a moment*

Then there's times where you don't seem to take a position or you change according to what people around you are saying. I've seen you do this a couple of times, and have had other people raise their eyebrows over it and ask me if it's a common thing. I guess they consider it something akin to ingratiating yourself with both sides so you're in the good books with all and then bitching/complaining behind backs. Hell, we all do it at times, but this particular case I'm thinking of is something which was brought to my attention by a number of people. My response? A shrug and a suggestion that they talk to you about it. I assume they didn't.

I admit that these are things I should talk to you about more often and when they come up. I claim lack of time to really discuss them as my reason for not doing so. It's not the kind of thing I can just mention and then say "oops, gotta go afk for a while". Maybe an asynchronous medium like this would be best for the moment. We can still discuss things, but without the immediate responses that IMing requires.
darkcryst
17th May, 2003 16:31 (UTC)
Re:
True words.

As far as arguing with my sister is concerned.. well.. theres a lot going on there. Mostly now I just wind her up deliberatly when she starts something - which yes I know itsn't big or clever.. but else I'd just go have to hit a pillow or something.

I remember that occasion that you meantioned vaguely.. but not the details. Sounds typical.

One thing tho.. I don't take an opposing side and then defend it. I defend the side I'm on at that point. My perspective has always been - yes I could be wrong, but you'll have to convince me that your argument has merit before I'll accept it as gospel. Granted that can be confrontational.

Sometimes its a communication issue.. I can be a bit dense at times and hang onto a thread that actaully isn't anywhere near what someone is talking about. Like those times you mentioned.. I actually would have apriciated you 'getting through to me' because that is probably what I was trying achieve.

OF cource listening more would help.. but like I said.. its a habbit, and one I am aware of.

I'm by nature someone that tries to understand both sides.. this can lead to be being called patronising. I try to notice when I'm doing it now (premted by one of our conversations on the subject of doing it in the Eve boards).

I am intregued as to the last part of your comment tho.. I never play both sides. I may change my opinion though. Perhaps that is what caused that perception.. though without knowing what you are refering to I don't really know.

I dunno.. we can continue this here (which I'm fine with) or by e-mail - whichever you feel more comfortable with.
rinnywee
18th May, 2003 03:16 (UTC)
Email's good I think. Will get something to you later today.
shineyquarter
17th May, 2003 09:05 (UTC)
I was waiting to see what you had to say. ;)
rinnywee
17th May, 2003 09:22 (UTC)
Well I just wrote a little bit more. Well okay, a lot bit more. :P
shineyquarter
17th May, 2003 09:34 (UTC)
Re:
Wow. I see. ;)

You are a good friend to have... if a bit scary cause you tell it like it is. I have a few too many of the yesmen friends.
rinnywee
17th May, 2003 09:40 (UTC)
Re:
Well I used to worry and just not say anything, and then one day something snapped and I started telling everyone the way I saw things. Lost of lot of "friends" in the process. Their loss really. I dont have the time nor the inclination to be all flowery and bow to what people want to hear. Just as I don't really have time to be all heehee and stupid with people because that's how they think they're going to get to know me.

Makes people think I'm hard to get to know or get along with, and yeah, maybe that's the case in a way, but the people who ARE my friends are the tightest most loyal bunch of people ever. And I'd rather that than a gazillion people thinking I am cool and fun.
shineyquarter
17th May, 2003 09:49 (UTC)
Re:
I can understand that.

I am a pretty friendly and bubbly person just by nature so it is too easy for me to collect a lot of friends who are not the true variety, but if they stick around long enough, they will hear me tell them how it is. You are right. The ones that stick around once you have been totally honest with them are the ones that really mean something.
rinnywee
17th May, 2003 09:57 (UTC)
Re:
Exactly. And also the ones who you can say "you're being a total arsehole" to and who don't hold it against you are real friends.
darkcryst
17th May, 2003 16:20 (UTC)
Re:
Yes.. THAT sounds familar ;)
darkcryst
17th May, 2003 16:20 (UTC)
Re:
Someone once said to me.. and I think its true..

"The best friends are the ones that don't tell you they are, and will stick with you even if you tell them not to."
darkcryst
17th May, 2003 16:17 (UTC)
Re:
Erin always tells it like it is.. and its got her into trouble before now ;) But its one of the best things about her.. and the worst sometimes too! ;)

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )